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Let me start with ” Khench kar Raat ke Devar pai Mare Hote , Mai Haathoun Mai Ager-Che Sitare Hote”
As soon as I reached home, everyone came to see what new I have come with for all of them suddenly my mom noticed something and said, “IMI … it’s easy to say you’re over someone if you aren’t seeing them. the challenge is to look them in the eye and see their smile and hear their voice and still be able to say “this is not what i want anymore” and i don’t know why but that just hit me too deep.
it’s okay to admit that your wounds are open and that you’re still healing. it takes time, give yourself credit.
i used to be so afraid of losing people, until i realized most of them were never really down for me in the first place. even though my loyalty & love for them ran deep, they could careless. so instead of being afraid of losing them, i fell back & watched them lose me… wow, growth.
That day while traveling back to home I heard “Aasalamu Ailiekum” – in a cute voice these words sounded so different, so magical, the voice was familiar so I immediately turn to her side in order to reply and see who is this?
Oh it is she, after a year wait now someone’s wife. The interesting thing was when she asked, “ Kush too Hoona.” I wish I could have answered her question but all I said was, “You know batter”.
Few days ago while discussing her disloyalty because of someone’s financial status a dear friend said, “People who have good hearts will always end up losing because we always give more than what we receive, we always forgive , and we accept the love we get even when we know we deserve better” i felt that shit that day but I keep mum.
That day She tried to show that she is happy but after a conversation of 5- minutes on a roadside the un-shed tears in her eyes said it all how much happy she is.
I find my friends always talking about her even they know we shouldn’t discuss someone’s wife but I came to know that day why they always put her in every conversation I made with them. It’s so easy to overthink yourself into a depression.
It’s like a snowball effect of all your insecurities, pain from what people have done/said to you, and fears. You have to be stronger than the voices inside your head, find & hold onto the light despite all the darkness and push thru.
While on bed I was reading a novel “The girl of my dreams” and my brother caught me doing so to which he replied “heartbroken? i know it sucks, it feels as if your world just came crashing down, everything you knew thrown out the window, nowhere to go. well guess what? i promise you, it gets better, maybe not today, but eventually as cliche as that sounds. She left you because of your poverty and economic setup, rise and shine, getup make money as much as you can, help People, share there sorrow and then go and show them what they’re missing.”
After Seeing her I was happy and equally sad too, I don’t know why but I fell in love again with her. Days, weeks, months and years later memories come gushing out. Boundless. Seamless. Making you smile and cry all at once.
Not gone lie it sucks growing apart from people you were close with. It hurts to be honest, but everyone grows and ventures off into their own and that’s fine. I wish nothing but great things for those i am no longer close with. Understand you still have a friend in me .
(Author is a former President of All Jammu & Kashmir Students Union . He can be reached at email@example.com)